No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
