shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
