I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Randomize
