I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
