margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
