beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
