your thong is hanging out like whoa
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
