Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
