Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
