life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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