This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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