It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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