And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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