fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
