How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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