Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need a burrito and a hug.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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