I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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