i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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