i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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