Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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