I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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