Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
