apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
