Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
