talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
