he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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