My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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