Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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