It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
there is glitter all over my balls
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