Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
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how do you play pong handcuffed?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.