real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
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Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.