O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
