so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
