Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
