I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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