and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
