thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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