member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
