someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
