i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
