did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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