Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize