Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
