Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
