Screwed.edu
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
