I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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