Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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