OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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