Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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