I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
