I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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