Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
