My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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