Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
