Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
