And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
