My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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