I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
