I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am mentally ready for anal.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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