Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
