Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
