If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize