My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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