Having a random hookup so left but love u
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So much rum. So many feels.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
