Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
