Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
