he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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